A Pastor in Need of a Pastor

I’m stuck in a peculiar position that I’ve been praying about since September of 2008 when my pastor H.B Charles moved to Jacksonville, Florida on another assignment at Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church. My father in the ministry, Bishop James H Mims passed away in 2006. So, when Pastor Charles moved I thought I could make it without having a “pastor” but I’m finding everyday, I need pastoral leadership.

This is my first church and I still have a lot to learn as well as I’m treading on thin water that requires advice from pastoral leadership. I have friends that I share my struggles with and ask for advice but the missing element for me is the godly council of a pastor.

My belief is every pastor needs a pastor. I teach our church the importance of pastoral leadership and believe I need to follow by example of my own teaching. I feel like Robin without Batman in my life. Some would think it’s not a big deal but to me it is. There is a since of ministry security having a pastor in the since that pastoral leadership in ministry keeps me sane at times and helps me work through some tough terrain that friends are not able to help me through because of our friendship. They listen and the advice is pretty vague and indecisive.

I have friends in ministry who’s been in ministry much longer than I have. I respect them and admire their work. But, I’m not sure how the relationship would crossover from friendship to pastor or if I would be seen as a friend, flunky, or a notch under the pastoral belt. My apprehension is due to my experiences in time past with such a crossover. From what I’ve witnessed directly and indirectly, it doesn’t work. Friendships end in a disagreement due to an attitude of “we’re on the same level” so no one wants to listen to the other. People’s demeanors change from relationship to dictatorship because some people can’t handle the crossover resulting in broken fellowship. The relationship becomes a position of power over the other and/or self-glory, a notch under my pastoral leadership belt so to speak. So, while I have friends I respect and admire their work, I am little apprehensive of asking them to be my pastor. I enjoy the friendship and don’t want anything to ruin it, not even pastoral leadership. Of course, all that I just mentioned is a result of both parties bending and/or not bending to make it work. Whether I consider a friend and/or develop a new relationship it’s going to require that I give more than I take.

So, I’m stuck with several concerns:

Relationship. I’m looking for a pastoral relationship much like the relationship between Paul and Timothy or even the unique relationship between Jesus and Peter. These were relationships of meaning, purpose, and ministry partnerships. Men in ministry headed in the same direction and showed much respect for each other. I need a relationship in my life and ministry not a position.

Preaching Ability. This may sound selfish but oh well, I want a pastor that can say it and models the discipline of sound doctrine.

Family Oriented. I want a pastor who loves his family and preferably married. I love my family (Tracy, Aysia, Myles, Kari, baby Jimmy, my mother, siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles, and grandparents). And, I love spending time with them. I need a pastor with a solid family life as an example for me and my family. I recognize that my wife needs a relationship to help her with being a pastor’s wife. So, I’m not leaning towards asking a single pastor to be my pastor. My teenagers need relationship as PKs to help them through ministry struggles of being a PK. I’m not trying to push off my responsibility on to someone else. I am the pastor of my family. However, I need to be sensitive to their needs as well. I think that makes for being a good pastor to my family. I don’t know it all and every little bit helps.

Integrity. I want a pastor of integrity. I should make a list but I won’t. 1 Timothy 3 is good enough.

Partnership. I want a pastor who shares the same passion for ministry that I do.

Honest. As much as I didn’t like it, I can say Pastor Charles was honest in his dealings with me. He told me when I was wrong and he told me when I did it right. I never had to guess where he stood on any issue, it was obvious. But, I must also remember that his and I relationship was unique because he is my brother-in-law. But I think the principle remains the same. It’s simple: Be honest with me. I’m a man and I can take it. I may not like it but I’ll suck it, learn, and move on.

Transparent. I want a pastor who’s transparent. I’m not expecting for him to tell me all his business but don’t make it seem like there’s no struggles either.

The person reading this may say; “Geeeeeeeesh, he’s asking a lot of a person!” In reality, I’m not. There’s a lot expected of me as a pastor, so why should I accept anything less than what’s expected of me. Actually, I think my expectations are relatively simple.

There are some seasoned pastors in our city that God has placed on my heart to consider as my pastor. I’m praying for clear (and I mean clear direction). Please join me in praying for clear direction in this area.